“Let’s see, just a few things on my errand list,” Rarity said to herself as she started across the shopping mall. Her mood was soured by an unpleasant buzzing sound that seemed to increase in volume as she approached the first corner. Something to was making an awful racket and it began penetrating her skull like that dreadful cicada swarm Twilight had dragged her to last spring.

“Uff, really? I do hope that whichever boutique has that malfunctioning equipment gets it fixed soon. One can hardly hear one’s self think! Anyway, I only need… only need… need to…”

S̷̙͕̬̣̽̎̆͘ị̵̢̺̈́̉̇͋̂g̸̙͚̣̜͇̋̋̊͝n̸̟̂̑͂͂͘ ̵͙̈͑͛̊̂͊̽ů̸͓͇̒̌̒̈̚͝p̶̱͑̔ ̶̪͖̺̘̔̂͋ͅf̸̳̣̞͒ͅo̷̢͔̰͚͖̯̫̓͆̉r̵̡̪̺̺̤̆̅̐̀ ̶̬̳̟̲̫̾͊͂a̴̲̘̪̱̖͛̐͜ ̷̝̼̪̠̲̣̝͛m̶̡̲̬̩̹͋́ä̵͙͆̇̉́͝l̶͚̬̗̘͍̾l̴̢͔͇̮̞̠̯̊̈́͆̐̊̏͠ ̵̢̦͌͋͌̓͝͠ċ̴͎͉̤̬͎̪̝̄͒̊̐l̷̨̲̦̠͚̩̟͒̽ǘ̵͓̦̈̈̚b̸͍̟̯̘̈́̒̐̀͋̉̕ ̸̖͙̟͚̂̆͝c̵͍̓̾̓̊͑̚a̴̢͉̤͉͂̅̒̈́̂͝ȓ̴̨̛̜̩̘̽̂̽͗͠d̷̢͚̜͉͆͊̂̈́̉͘ ̵̲͇͌͒́w̸̨̦̟̠̪̄̕͜į̸̛̺̩̼̦̩͐̔͝ţ̷̢̗͇̯̉̈́̄̍͌̌h̵̠̹̳̺̣͊̓̍̈̀̋ ̴̳̥̗͍̅́͆̌̕ȃ̸̬̞̼͙ͅ ̶̝͎͉̯͓̓͐͗̒͜͝l̸̺̲͕̖̘̈́̿̎̈̍̈̕ͅȍ̴̗͇̯͔̺̝͔̀̊͛w̵͓̎̔͘͘,̶͔̯̫̪͇̬̬̽̈̔ ̷̗͕̯̼͐̈́͘͝͠͝l̷̪̱͊͗̂͜͠ơ̶̡͓͖̼͈̽̚w̴̡̃̅̈ ̶̰̦̩́̅̓̇͌͝ṁ̸͉͓̫̓͜o̸͍̎̈́͌͆̓͝͝n̷̠̣͓̱͚̍̓ṭ̵́̃̾̒͊̅h̶̛͚͔̯͙̓̀͋̉̀͝l̵̛̜͛̎̔͑̈y̸̝̲͇͔͌ ̷̲̏̽̈́̓͐f̴̙̤̥̆̀̉͗͠e̸͍̖̮̻̻͗e̵̞̗̲̅͐̽̉͋!̷̨̪͚͍̥̻̌̈́̀̑̍̔͘͜

“Sign up for a mall club card with a low, low monthly fee…”

F̸̡̺̥̅́̏̕̚l̸̨̹̱̐͑͗̿i̴̞̖͎̺̍̕ͅŕ̷̻͓̖t̵͚̬͈͛͝ ̶͙̠̱͙̠̀̆w̸̨̝̆̉͠i̴͔̇̇̈́t̸̝̗̲́̉̎͒ͅh̵̘̀̓ ̷̯͕̺̀́͗ḁ̷͛̓̾̏̈́ľ̷̥̤l̸̩̀̈́́ ̸̤͙̐̑t̸̯̏̐ḥ̶̖͊̆̽ė̵̖͉̤͕́ ̶̨͓̐̆̔̎c̷̘̞̲̅̀̅̈́l̸͙͕̝̆ͅe̸̬̓r̴̛͉̘̻̙͉̋̓̑k̴͖̘͕̠̟̈́̉ş̵̛̋̎!̸͉͍̼͙̿͌

“Flirt with all the clerks…”

Ģ̵̼͍͇̳̽̉̍̅̀̈́͛̏ẹ̶̡̠̝̘̺̥͋͒̈́̈́̚͠t̶̯̯̙̘̬̤̐̒́͛͒ ̵̻̪̬̲̀̒͆̇á̴̲͓̈́ͅ ̸̺͇͖̼͖̭̀̑͐ņ̶̤̠̺̳͎̬́̋̒̉̏̀̔ḙ̸́̈͛͗̋̋͠w̷̛̝̳̓̌̂̇͠ ̸͇̩̠̟͆̚s̷̬͌͗̿͝ū̸͕͕̍́̐̊̈́͝m̸͍̣͔̮͖̣͊̂̾͗͝m̵̧͕̜̳̮̯̥̀͝͠e̷̲̥͎̮̜̅̊̔r̵̜͙̱̈́͝ͅ ̶͙͉̝͓̖̿̌l̷̨̝̯̬͕͂͗o̴̳͎̻̾͒͂̆̚͜͝ō̶̯̗̗̪̰̐͋̇̒́̈́͝k̴̝̥̘̭̇̓͗̾͛ ̸̨̥͋͊̿͛̈́͜͝a̴̢̩̻͙̤̦̠͋͌͛̽̎͌͝t̸͚͙̔́͘ ̵̨͕͎̙̪͕͔̃̽̒̋̚̚͝L̷̫͔̳̘̆̔̕̕ẽ̷̞͕̞̮̠̍̆t̶̰́̆’̶͕̝̖͇̔͆̓́̍͗̔ͅs̶̜̠̳͓͚̟͆̍͋͂̄̕ ̴̫̭̱̽M̸̟̹͕̜̮̙̭̾͜ā̶̜̖͇̈́k̵͕̩͕̲̙̣̐̎͠e̸͚̝̮͚̬̮͙̒͜-̶̛̲̱̀̒̅̃̽͝Ư̶̧̲̝̹͔̯̪͖̔̓͂͝͠p̵̛̠̥̘̊̂͒̐̾́ ̶̢̧̱̣͇͓̣̓͠͝C̶̢̧̹̰̱͔̔̚o̴̡̨̡̠͙̝̍̓̚s̵̳̭̤̪͂̑͗͛̒̾͘͘ḿ̶̢̝̐̆͘͘͠ẹ̸̢͖͇̠̖̝͗̕t̴͎̣̗̜̭́̆̓̈̌̆͘͘ì̸̬̩̦͔̱͍͜c̴̡̖̤̝̣̦̿ś̸̡̠͇̱̟̯̫̃̄̾̽͑!̶̡͎̩̹̮͕͕͇͐

“Get a new summer look at Let’s Make-Up Cosmetics…”

M̴̘̞̼̋̈a̷̘͐͒k̸̫͓͠e̶̳̓ ̷̥̝̝̏̓o̷̝̻̅̈́u̷̘͆̔t̷͇̤̎ ̵̰̈̾ͅw̷̘̾̄i̷͉̖͒̚ť̶̟̞h̴̝̃ ̴̢̝̣̈͂t̵͔̯̋h̸̥͝e̸͎͍̰̓ ̸̢̥̠̏̅͂f̷̠͖͒͛͝i̷̮̇͋̐t̷̨̬̹̕ẗ̸̡̻̜̈́͝é̸̘͔r̸͉͙͛͜ş̴̜̈̄͐ ̶̢̦̝͗̊̔í̴̗̮ń̸̠̩̓ ̷̫̻̽L̸̫̲̑͂͋ͅi̵̩͗̒͘l̸̼̇y̵͈̅ ̸͈͆́̅L̵͔͛̀̎i̷̧̬̳̎n̴̰̤̅͑̅͜g̵̓ͅe̶̲̝͋r̶̙̫̞̽͠i̸̊́̏͜e̶̘̒’̴͎̞̽s̶̡̰̄͌ ̵̤̔͂͜͝S̵̗͊͘͠h̴̢̻̝̓ọ̶́͘p̸̹̬̋ ̸͇̯̭̋͌̚c̴̤͈̘͂h̵̙͍̝̀̈a̷͓̐̽̈n̵͎̑͋̕g̷̘͒i̵͎͆̎͂ṋ̸̺̖̈́̔̏g̵̽ͅ ̸͍̻̯̆̈́r̷͖̓ọ̷̆o̸͔͇̎ḿ̴̘͙s̴̯̪͓̓̇!̵̨̪̇̈́͠

“Make out with the fitters in Lily Lingerie’s Shop changing rooms…”

A̶̛͕̚ŝ̴͖̞́k̸͔̯̖͐̍ ̷̰̗̖̾ä̴̼̳͈́b̸̤̗̲̈́͝ô̴͎u̴̝̬͗͜t̷̢̃̒ ̴͚͙̔̍̋ţ̸̼͊͘͠h̸͚̗̍́e̶̡̹̠͒ ̸̝͕̌̽̚d̸͍̯́͑̈́a̴̙̗̯̎i̴͔͚̳͆͝l̴̘̣̓y̸̬̟̓͌ ̶͇͌̃s̸̢̓̃̚p̶̳̱̬͐e̵̗̼͇̎̕c̶̣̺̍̊ĭ̷̺͊̄a̴̱͂̆l̸̡̙̂͒́ ̷̡̬̺̀͗͝a̷̦̞̭͛t̸͙̋͝ ̴̰͇̑̈́t̸̖͝ḥ̶͑̈́͠ē̷̠̩̓͂ ̵̡̞̜͆K̶͔̄e̷͈͑l̸͎͚̪̆p̸̮̝̃͗͘ ̴͖͓͒Ẁ̸͔̲̑a̷͎͉͕̒n̴̨̈̚ẗ̵̫̤́e̸͔͂d̶̟͈̉̓̄ͅ ̶̧̗̕͠ś̸̟͝ã̶̠̭̀l̵̝̖̫͒ạ̴̩̀̒͋d̴͇̘͋ ̴͉̬͗b̴̡̦̋̆͘ả̵͉r̶̘͙̋͊͠ ̷̤͖̆͂̂i̴̪̯͇̋͊͝ń̷̛̟̹̂ ̴̨͎̫͒̽t̸̩̪͊̅͆ȟ̴̲͎̆̀e̶̮̭̭͌ ̵̰̩̖̏͝f̶̬̒̇ô̶̪̚ͅo̵̪̮̰͘d̷̬̎̂̈ ̴͐̕͜ç̵̖̹̽͆o̴̳̺̦͐̒u̵͉̝̙̍͘ŗ̷̧̼̐͑͝t̷͍͉̝̾́̚!̸̱͍͋͛ͅ

“Ask about the daily special at the Kelp Wanted salad bar in the food court…

S̷̨͉̙̠̠̃͘ḁ̷̣̬̮́͂ͅt̷̠͊̿̉͝ī̸̗͇̦̠͒̂̕s̶̥͙̻͐̅ͅf̵̛͕̭̃ẙ̸̳̃̚ ̷̥̓̃t̵͎͙͒̇́̚͝h̷̨͍̣̻͆̏͐̕o̴̢̡͔̫͌s̷͉͉̪̰̣̊̿e̵̪̲̾̋̕͘ ̷̡̲͖͓̼̆̍ḩ̴͙͈͍̅͜å̴̙͍͎̉́ͅn̸̯̈́́͘ḑ̸͉͈̻̈̐͐s̵͕̬͆̆̀̀̚o̷̜̾m̷̨͖̥̉̐̍͝è̵̜͖̹ͅ ̶̹̤͖̏̈́͋̂͜y̸̠̳̙̮͊͜o̶̧͕̫̔̃ṷ̷̩͛̄̂ǹ̸̰̲̹g̵̤͒͑͋̃ ̶̟̰̄̇̀s̷̲̯̺͒̑͛t̴̥̙̗̖̾u̷͎̠͋͐͝d̶̜͚͑͗̽͝s̴͔͙̿́̂ ̷̮̍̇̐͘i̵̢̤͖͇͓̇̽̋n̵̹͙͚͖͔̔ ̵̱̜̲̀̃̌̽̕ţ̷͗̀͂̍ḧ̶̟̪́e̶͉̬͗̒̒͋̒ ̷͇̞̯͆̅ͅm̶̧̯̱̦̎̎̓͂̒e̵̠͇̯͋̓́̈́n̶̯̖̙̥͒̓̂͒’̴̗̻̭̯͈̾̾̈́s̵̛͍̪̭͙͐̍͜ ̷̭̯͊̈̐̈ŗ̴̟̣̒̂͘̚ò̸̲̄̀̆͒ọ̸̣̺̫̻͑̀͆m̷̹̪̰̒̽̑͜ͅ!̴̰̭̖͎̣͌̈́̃̏͝

“Satisfy those handsome young studs in the men’s room…”

T̵͈͍̆͘ặ̴̬̔͂̆k̵͇̅̉͌e̵̗̮̺̞͋͘͝͠ ̶̒͒̓ͅà̴͉̲̅̾d̶͔̜̈̉v̷̹̂̇̈́ȃ̶̩͆͑̌͛n̷͇̓̅t̴̢̪̞̺͉̍̚͝a̵̺̎̓ģ̶̨͔̈́̉́̑e̸̘̞͓͊͜ ̷̦͊̇̈͂͘ö̶̻̗̗̘́̑̄͊̒f̴̻̫̻͗͜ ̵͉̟̻̊t̶̡̫͋͝h̸̩͚̩̉̌̚͘͠e̷͖̟̗͈̕ ̵̙͔̓̈́2̷̟͐̍̓̂0̷̢̢̛̜̝͖̋̀%̴̻̒̀͛̒̚-̶̳̺̣̟̈́͑͒̿͝ó̷̡̻̲̅̎̇f̸͚̫̈́̐̾̕͝f̸̪̘̥̥͘ ̵͔͊̓s̶̘̖͎̱̫͐̆̓̅͝p̴̧̰͐e̶͈͉̜͒ć̷̗i̵͕̽a̶̡̛̟͔̦̣̐̇͋͗l̶̡͚̣̪͛̎̃́̚s̸̢̘̪̰̆̾͂ ̴̺͐ạ̴̟̜̞̩͘̚t̶̲̓̽ ̷̢̣͎̓̽̑Ḷ̴̀͒̌̚a̸͈̍̓͌͝c̶̣̦̬̝̀ỹ̶̘̦’̷̣̤̎̈́͋̏̕ṡ̶̗̪́̏̀̚,̵̢̧̖͍̣̒̎ ̵͓̣̦̈́t̵͔̰̰͋̑̒́̑o̵̟̳̅̂͌͐͛ḑ̶̬̮̞̗̉̆̓ȧ̷̞̹͍̜̌̓̍y̴̫̹̳̥̯͗̏͑͛̔ ̷͔̂̏̄͆̈ő̶̯̙͔͍͎̔̆́n̶̥̫̔l̷̛̗̃̓͆y̷̡̺͙̠͇͗͆̿͋̃

“Take advantage of the 20%-off specials at Lacy’s, today only…”

A̶̟̠̽̆̒̈́n̶͍̥̻̳͙̒̚͘ḓ̸̢̺̤͛ ̴̫̯̥̞̲̉̂́h̴̻͙͆á̵̛͇̗̰̖͊͜v̸̛̪̳͉͒̍é̴̠͈̬̓ ̵͕͙̖̼̥̎̏͠a̴̗̹̥̾́̊̕̚ ̶͎͐̑̕͝ǧ̴̛̗̅̈́͆r̷̝̣̀̔̕͠e̶̪̣͆ḁ̸̫͕͚̝̅͗̆̈t̴̡̜̹͖͝ ̵̩̬̀̂̍͘ď̷͓͖̪̑̐a̷̛̙͔͊͐̊̐ŷ̴̢̹̥͎̅͜ ̸̥̘̙͔̈́ͅa̵͇̝͖̤̳̅̔t̶̞̯̪̖̾́͊́̚ ̶̨͇̺̹̎͒͜C̶̨̠̯̒́̅â̶̫n̵̹̤̖̮̓̓̿̋̈͜t̷̜͙̟̀̓͑̕͠ę̸̩̓̿̒̉͜ͅr̷͇̓͛͝l̶͚̖͕̳͆̓̂o̴̮͛̇̃͋̈́t̵̞̤͑̍͝ ̴̱̺́̊̈́̈͝C̴̬̬͔͑̔͝ŗ̶̟̝͍̈́́̿͝͝e̷͍̹̰͠e̷̱͋k̵̹̣̈ͅ ̶̡̛̟̤͍̰̍͐͘͠M̴̛̘̿́̾̍a̴̭̩͉̫͋̈́̍l̸̛̰͝l̴͓̣͝!̶͔͖͛͝

“… and have a great day at Canterlot Creek Mall.” Rarity blinked as the buzzing sound diminished. “Oh my, what a full day! And I only had one of those important tasks on my itinerary! Rarity, old girl, you could certainly stand to have a bit more fun,” she giggled, adding several items to her to-do app.

“I’m telling you, brother! Business is booming ever since we installed that Subliminal Advertisement Psychobeast, or whatever it’s called, by the entrance!” boasted Flim.

“Indeed, brother-of-mine! Not only that, but traffic has quintupled and customer satisfaction is through the roof!” Flam observed. “Why, it doesn’t even have expenses! Gets all the food it needs from the thoughts of the shoppers. Truly a marvelous innovation.”

The intercom buzzed. Flam’s click of the button filled the managerial office’s air with a background burble of tittering giggles that nearly drowned out the annoyance in the voice of their secretary. “Another gaggle of shoppers here to send their compliments, sirs,” Warm Reception said with obvious disgust.

“Thank you, my dear!” Flam said with a smug grin. “Send them in and hold our calls.”

Flim clicked to activate his intercom and added, “In fact, why not take the rest of the day off and enjoy a self-care day at The Whispering Willow spa on us, my dear? You’ve been working very hard lately and deserve a treat. Just tell them Flim and Flam sent you.”

“Anything to get away from this d-” Reception started to reply before catching herself. “… desk.” The intercom went silent, but the giddy laughter was now audible just on the other side of the office door.

“Say, dear brother, wouldn’t Warm Reception have to walk past the mall entrance to get to The Whispering Willow spa?” Flam asked slyly.

“Indeed, brother-of-mine. Indeed,” Flim replied.

Boutiques in R’lyeh are so fascinating.

Just another day at the zoo